nobo

giving change to homeless people is something that i have always hated being confronted with. it is something i will quite literally go out of my way to avoid. im not adverse to crossing the street, pretending i'm deaf, or just turning around and going home just to avoid that dreaded question. 'spare a little change?' in this country we have branded the homeless a stigma of being drug addict, booze hounds. dont get me wrong, i have nothing agains't drugs or booze, or the abuse of either. its just that i never really thought it fair to just be able to stand lazily on corner pestering passer-bys, when i have to punch in and out and pay taxes just to get my booze and drugs.
then last night, i had an epiphany of sorts. i had just come back home from a night of drug and alcohol abuse and didn't have any cash on me. i was craving a black & mild (cigar) as i often do on a late night bender. i searched my room for change and came up with about 52 cents. 56 cents short. i knocked on my roommates door and asked him if he could 'spare a little change.' groggily he checked his dresser and his pants to see what he could come up with. he handed me roughly 13 cents and said, 'why don't you check the couch cushions.' it was then that it hit me. when ever im asked for change my first reaction is 'why dont you just get a job?' for what? to make the dollar eighteen it cost for a low grade malt liquor. not saying that all who beg are looking for a buzz but if that is why they need the change, i get it now.
i work (well, i have worked) to pay rent, for a roof over my head. i work, for food in my belly. i work so i can travel. but if all i needed was enough money for a buzz to get my through boring homeless day then its obvious that work is a terrible idea.
this doesn't mean i'm going to start showering hobo's with a handfuls of penny's when they ask, but at least now i'll feel a little guilty about it.

ahh, who i'am kidding, no i won't.